This is an excerpt from Hatch – A Change Your Life Guide, my most recent release. 

We've Endured

As long as I can, remember—though I’m not sure why—I’ve been labeled a misfit—a square peg, a Goonie, an outcast (every generation seems to have its own word for this).

In kindergarten kids laughed at me saying I had a boy’s name. In elementary school, they said I hadn’t grown up with them, I wasn’t from there. Or maybe it was because even though I have never been outspoken, I decided I wouldn’t tolerate the bigoted French teacher and refused to go back to her class. The principal reprimanded me, called me “a quitter,” but I wasn’t swayed. I don’t think the kids (or the teacher) could quite understand that kind of rebellion from a ten-year-old.

Another time, the teacher ordered me into the hallway where she told me to repeat to the principal what I’d just told her. I explained my drawing of an aneurysm to him. (Due to cholesterol or other blockage in a vein, a balloon-like area forms expanding the side of the vein. If it would burst, my father would have 45 minutes to live.) My teacher didn’t approve of my mother sharing the details of my father’s illness with a child. The principal only shrugged.

In middle school, I argued with the principal that, due to a highly publicized paper shortage, it was stupid to waste it by writing punishment sentences hundreds of times. I ended up having to run around the gym in front of my class, which did very little for my already degraded social status, but it was a win for my cause.

If you’ve been in this position, you know there is no going back. Once you’re tagged as an outlier, that’s where you stay. As I entered high school, I wasn’t “the right fit” to be one of the majorettes. They can give whatever reasons they liked, but I’m pretty sure none of them had 60 trophies attesting to their ability and, while they were marching up and down the muddy hometown football field, I performed all over the world, including for servicemen at Pearl Harbor, in the shadow of Scotland’s Edinburgh castle, and other cities across the US and Europe. As they continued buddying up with football players in their cliques, I was privileged to experience foreign cultures and see historic sites firsthand instead of reading about them in a textbook.

When we are mistreated or outcast by someone, we may blame ourselves. We falsely wonder, “Am I ugly?” “Fat?” “Horrible?” and all sorts of self-degrading ideas. This self-blame can cause us to slip into isolation because we feel unliked or unloved.

Eventually, if you give yourself space, you learn that being a misfit is a good thing. It allows you to do things your way without others caring. You may discover you are a bit of a loner, and that’s okay. This is particularly true for creatives and those who have suffered for their uniqueness. Yet it is your uniqueness that can make you great.

It doesn’t matter what labels they put on you. You can’t change their actions. Instead, you must realize that deep down they know you’re somehow different in ways they can’t understand. Whether that means you become a target or are simply ignored, they know there is something special about you, more specifically, you’re not like them—you’re not like “everyone else.” And maybe that scares them a little because they’re afraid to step out of the crowd—and you’re not.

What they sense is that you carry traits offering you the potential to do great things, even if you don’t realize it or feel like it could ever be possible. As it turns out, some of the worst things that have happened in your past, particularly in your youth, formed the exact survival traits you need to succeed as you trod forward.

Despite the obvious definitions of hatch, i.e., “hatching new life from an egg,” “an escape hatch,” or “hatching a plan,” for readers of this book “hatch” means all that and more. It means realizing that no matter what brought you to this point, you have options and choices available to you right now to help you to Hatch a new and better life, one worth loving. And it doesn’t matter if they mark you as “an outcast,” “a misfit,” or whatever else they want to label you because once you “hatch” it will no longer matter.

Some of you are what I call the “Endurers.” You are still on the inside of the “egg” feeling trapped and not realizing there is a whole other, much better life waiting for you “out there.” (It’s hard to see through those thick-shelled walls.)

Others of you have potentially “hatched” but are now looking at all the broken pieces of your life. You may be feeling all “Humpty Dumpty” (who couldn’t put it all back together again) and are wondering, “what do I do now?”

This book is about how I found myself in those positions and hacked my way out with very little guidance or direction. With much angst, I began seeking my way as a young adolescent and continue to machete my way forward as a senior.

As you read on, in Phase One, you’ll learn how to listen to and follow the longings of your heart.

Scratch that. If you knew what your heart wanted and how to follow it, you wouldn’t be reading this book. You’d be doing it. Instead, in Phase One you’ll learn how to listen to your body groan and soul weep. I’ll show you how those nagging little aches and pains, illnesses, and even accidental injuries can be translated into Marvelous Messages™ that can help you plan your Hatch. (This is where I had my first real breakthrough in my life.)

In Phase Two, we will circle back to your heart and all it desires. I’ll teach you ways to identify what your heart’s aching for you to do and how it ties into your soul’s purpose. Now, having a clearer idea on what you really desire—(you have known it all along, you’ve simply silenced it)—you can now set goals and a plan to obtain it. We’ll take a “look back to leap forward” to understand how some of the challenges you face today are the result of inherited trials that were never properly resolved in the generations that came before you. Lucky you, it’s now your turn to see if you can make it right. But, you’ll also learn about the gifts implanted within your spiritual DNA to help you along in your soul’s journey.

In Phase Three, we will dig a little deeper. Having opened up the lines of inner communication, I’ll show you many ways to recognize and follow your intuition.

In Phase Four, we will talk about the hard stuff—those barriers holding you to where you are now and how to overcome them—fear, mistaken perceptions, and other beliefs that cloud your mind and prevent you from being the “you” you came here to be.

Lastly, in Phase Five, you’ll see how, once you open these doors to your body and soul, you not only are creating a new and better path for your life, you can create a better world. And that is a true transformation. 

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